I promise this is my last word on men's ministries (for a while at least).
I'm seeing a problem with Jerry's "post high-school" group. When is a person too old? And how does a leader eject a too-old person?
The high school group has a natural ejection process. Almost. When high school ends, many of the recent graduates just hang around for the summer, but many of them go away to a different town for college. Problem solved—almost. There have often been students who never left town and simply wouldn't stop attending the high school group. Their friends are there; they feel like kids; and there's nothing else for them in the church.
Voilà! A new answer! Post-high school group (presumably the "kids" up to about 21 years old). But then what?
When I was in college, I attended such a group at a local Presbyterian church. One of the guys looked a bit older than the rest of us, but then again, the group had several engineers from McDonnell-Douglas. So I wasn't too troubled. He drove a really cool car. It was a 1952 Hudson Hornet, in perfect condition. I asked him how he got the thing, and he told me that after he graduated from college, he bought it with the first real money he earned. New. Fresh from the factory.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Mixed Emotions
In between teaching and grading, I've been doing a bit of reading about men's ministries. I've got sort of an emotional turmoil as a result.
Of course, like most people, I watch high school kids' ministry and ask why we can't have anything like that. Why can't we have fun, interesting, important events? Why can't we have close friendships? Why can't we actually deal with issues more important than getting new tires for the car?
Then I read some of the websites for organizations that promise exactly that sort of thing for men's groups. And I get wistful. I can't imagine anything like that happening here. It would require no less than a complete paradigm shift for a modern Ohio church to see the value of men associating with one another. The status quo (a church of women, children, and teenagers with men on the edges sort of facilitating things) works just fine, and there would be enormous political difficulties if men began to become empowered in any way.
I'm going to keep reading, thinking, and even praying, but don't expect to see anything on this blog. This idea has to fly under the radar.
Of course, like most people, I watch high school kids' ministry and ask why we can't have anything like that. Why can't we have fun, interesting, important events? Why can't we have close friendships? Why can't we actually deal with issues more important than getting new tires for the car?
Then I read some of the websites for organizations that promise exactly that sort of thing for men's groups. And I get wistful. I can't imagine anything like that happening here. It would require no less than a complete paradigm shift for a modern Ohio church to see the value of men associating with one another. The status quo (a church of women, children, and teenagers with men on the edges sort of facilitating things) works just fine, and there would be enormous political difficulties if men began to become empowered in any way.
I'm going to keep reading, thinking, and even praying, but don't expect to see anything on this blog. This idea has to fly under the radar.
Mixed Purposes
One of those moments of revelation happened recently. I was looking online for material about writing definitions and ran into some material about defining small groups (from a sociological perspective). Here's what they had:
In my experience, the one definition that gets short-changed is the "casual group"—of the many groups I've been in, I can't think of more than one former group member I'd seek out at a church coffee hour. For the most part, we came together to get something done, and when it was finished, we went our ways.
- A primary group is a small group of people whom we associate with by living together with them.
- A casual group is a small group of people whom we associate with for companionship and friendship.
- A therapeutic group is a small group of people who are interested in changing their behavior, values, and attitudes.
- A problem-solving group is a small group of people who have a specific goal of finding a solution to a specific problem.
- An educational group is a small group of people who are interested in becoming educated on a certain topic.
In my experience, the one definition that gets short-changed is the "casual group"—of the many groups I've been in, I can't think of more than one former group member I'd seek out at a church coffee hour. For the most part, we came together to get something done, and when it was finished, we went our ways.
Men's Ministry
When I got home last night (too late to do any more grading), I got to thinking about men's ministry again. There seems to be a new crop of showy, commercial attempts to fill this gap in church life (Promise Keepers is only the most visible). Lots of products for sale, mainly books and conferences.
I looked through the websites for several Mansfield churches, and, as I expected, They all have something special for kids and many have something special for women, but men's groups are rare. I only found one or two. It's tempting to visit those churches and find out what they've got.
(Slightly off the subject: back in the Youth for Christ days, we had a good handful of high school ministries going, mainly attended by guys. Even that group fell into the children's ministry trap, and ended up focusing on inner-city children below ten years old, totally forgetting the high school ministry—except for the prison ministry part of YFC.)
I looked through the websites for several Mansfield churches, and, as I expected, They all have something special for kids and many have something special for women, but men's groups are rare. I only found one or two. It's tempting to visit those churches and find out what they've got.
(Slightly off the subject: back in the Youth for Christ days, we had a good handful of high school ministries going, mainly attended by guys. Even that group fell into the children's ministry trap, and ended up focusing on inner-city children below ten years old, totally forgetting the high school ministry—except for the prison ministry part of YFC.)
Monday, November 16, 2009
End of the day
I'm sitting here at the church, waiting for Jared to be finished with his Bible study. It was supposed to end at 8 p.m., and now it's 8:20. That's about typical, I guess.
I had hoped to get back to the apartment and finish grading about six papers before bed, but I'm not so sure of that now. The grading cycle is very wearing on a teacher, both because of the sheer work and because (especially this late in the semester) I feel like a failure looking at the wretched quality some of my people put out. I've got to keep telling myself that 13 weeks isn't enough time to work many miracles. Keep saying that. Especially when the miracle recipients aren't exactly interested in the process.
So here I sit. I think I'm sort of on the wrong end of the various liberation movements. Back in the day (which means about 1965) men were considered to be the "normal" people and everything was tilted toward them (back in 1965, "men" wasn't exactly "us" yet for me). Now I look at the church (and ours isn't that different from many other churches) and see that there's a lot of emphasis on ministry to girls and women. Lots aimed at elementary school children, junior high kids, high school kids, and (new this year) the odd post-high-school age slot that might have gone to college (perhaps about 20 to 25 years old). Notice anything? Anyone left out?
Yes, I know that adult males are seen by the paranoid hystericals as a threat. And I know that we're dull, but necessary because we earn much of the money and drive people places. It would be nice, though, if there were some way for us to get in on things. Maybe something more than the annual Men's Prayer Breakfast (that occasionally misses a year or two).
I had hoped to get back to the apartment and finish grading about six papers before bed, but I'm not so sure of that now. The grading cycle is very wearing on a teacher, both because of the sheer work and because (especially this late in the semester) I feel like a failure looking at the wretched quality some of my people put out. I've got to keep telling myself that 13 weeks isn't enough time to work many miracles. Keep saying that. Especially when the miracle recipients aren't exactly interested in the process.
So here I sit. I think I'm sort of on the wrong end of the various liberation movements. Back in the day (which means about 1965) men were considered to be the "normal" people and everything was tilted toward them (back in 1965, "men" wasn't exactly "us" yet for me). Now I look at the church (and ours isn't that different from many other churches) and see that there's a lot of emphasis on ministry to girls and women. Lots aimed at elementary school children, junior high kids, high school kids, and (new this year) the odd post-high-school age slot that might have gone to college (perhaps about 20 to 25 years old). Notice anything? Anyone left out?
Yes, I know that adult males are seen by the paranoid hystericals as a threat. And I know that we're dull, but necessary because we earn much of the money and drive people places. It would be nice, though, if there were some way for us to get in on things. Maybe something more than the annual Men's Prayer Breakfast (that occasionally misses a year or two).
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Springerle
I decided to get into baking this year, and (as is usual with me) I dove into the most complex recipe available. Springerle cookies—hard, anise-flavored German cookies with images imprinted in their faces.
My mother always made them, and my brother misses the things terribly. The cookies were a basic reason behind my purchase of a KitchenAid mixer, though I've found other uses for it too.
The recipe calls for "four cups of all-purpose flour," and I decided to be gourmet about it and shunned the store-brand flour. Instead, I bought something called White Lily All-Purpose Flour. That sounded gourmet.
All went reasonably well until the end of the mixing process. It just didn't look right. I called my sister, and she confirmed that Mom always complained that the dough was like cement. Mine was like soft frosting. I scooped it back into the mixer bowl, got out the flour bag, and then chanced to look at the side of the bag. There's a substitution. To use this flour in ordinary recipes, you have to use more—something like half a cup more in my recipe. I kept adding flour by the handful until I got something approximating cement and went forward with the process. They are out of the oven now, cooling. I wonder if I'll be able to get them off the cookie sheet.
It turns out, by the way, that White Lily is a Southern specialty, mainly used for their extremely light biscuits. It's not really a general-purpose flour at all. Who knew?
My mother always made them, and my brother misses the things terribly. The cookies were a basic reason behind my purchase of a KitchenAid mixer, though I've found other uses for it too.
The recipe calls for "four cups of all-purpose flour," and I decided to be gourmet about it and shunned the store-brand flour. Instead, I bought something called White Lily All-Purpose Flour. That sounded gourmet.
All went reasonably well until the end of the mixing process. It just didn't look right. I called my sister, and she confirmed that Mom always complained that the dough was like cement. Mine was like soft frosting. I scooped it back into the mixer bowl, got out the flour bag, and then chanced to look at the side of the bag. There's a substitution. To use this flour in ordinary recipes, you have to use more—something like half a cup more in my recipe. I kept adding flour by the handful until I got something approximating cement and went forward with the process. They are out of the oven now, cooling. I wonder if I'll be able to get them off the cookie sheet.
It turns out, by the way, that White Lily is a Southern specialty, mainly used for their extremely light biscuits. It's not really a general-purpose flour at all. Who knew?
Friday, November 13, 2009
Somnambulists
Christmas is here, and so I played one of my favorite music videos for my students, the Trans-Siberian Orchestra's version of "Wizards in Winter." I darkened the room and pumped up the volume.
Half of my students sat through it staring at their desks. Only one or two actually saw the thing. Nobody actually thought it might be enjoyable or fun or anything.
Here's what they missed (my copy has much better quality than this YouTube version) Christmas Lights
Half of my students sat through it staring at their desks. Only one or two actually saw the thing. Nobody actually thought it might be enjoyable or fun or anything.
Here's what they missed (my copy has much better quality than this YouTube version) Christmas Lights
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