Beginning Again Again Again

Wow. All the years that have passed. One of the most surprising things is that it is about eight years, almost to the day, since I began my journey in the Episcopal Church. And it is now about 24 hours since I ended it.

I'm certain that nobody will read this blog, so it can be a very personal journal—and that's why I'm not deleting any of the old files either.

Reason for the exit: Beginning about 15 months ago, the priest (aided sometimes by one of her closest colleagues) has been carrying on an increasing campaign of personal attack. The final week, I got hit three times, and for very minimal reasons. (She launched a "prophylactic" attack in a meeting because she wanted me to look up some numbers and she figured I needed a fire built under me; I did not instantly respond to a request for a computer password; and finally I mentioned on Facebook that I had suggested a way to save money, then gave up when I realized my idea was unworkable.)

Three odd fall-outs from all this:

1. I've never been truly happy with her content-free sermons; only yesterday in doing some research on our terrible history did I learn that she's a fan of Bishop Spong, the guy who thinks the Apostles' Creed and the Bible are a bunch of foolishness. Hmmm.
2. I'm wondering what will happen when they figure out that 10% of their pledge money just walked out the door.
3. My exit was accomplished with a strongly-worded hand-delivered typed letter that laid the blame squarely at her feet. Twenty-four hours have passed. Not a peep from her. Not a "we need to talk" or a "gosh I didn't realize you took it that way" or even a "how dare you?" Total silence.

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Now what? Allan Andersen (bless his heart) texted me to ask how I was doing. I told him we could talk after a while, and he accepted that. (We will need to anyhow because I've shoved the job of church treasurer into his lap.) My sister Melissa and my friend Paul in Colorado have been enormous sources of support and strength.

So now, for the time being, I'm going to lie low and do some healing, both emotional and physical. This has been a very difficult few weeks.